The really important bit is that we also filter out our pain, not acknowledging how we are being effected by people and situations. Instead relying on our defenses and coping to keep us going. Keep us going they do but often to the detriment of people we care about and perhaps more importantly our relationship with ourselves, who we are and whats most important to us.
Each of us have a leading instinct that has a stronger pull than the remaining two. In other words, they are stackable - one can relatively easily identify strongest from weakest and sequence them accordingly.
It seems the more we let go, the more we get our way. Maybe not how or what we initially thought but always satisfying for the soul .